So I just got back from Davao and on my first weekend here, I took my mom out on a date. I hate to admit but I always try my best to avoid having conversations with my mom. Why? Because I never win any argument with her. She says everything I do and like is wrong. She says mean things about everyone in this world. So yeah, why I always do ninja mode is justified. I knew that being with her will result in another episode of our crazy talks. I decided to time it and list down every event that I would find interesting for just an hour.
1. At the mall, she stopped at stared at expensive jewelry for a very long while. I knew she was craving for it so I said “pag ako yumaman, ibibili kita ng mga yan…pero pangit ka pa din”.
2. While we were window shopping, three teens were heading to Bench while saying to their supposed mom “titingin lang kami, titingin lang kami”. And what’s funny is the mother was wearing that please-don’t-beg-me-to-buy-you-guys-new-clothes look on her face. I told my mom, “Yan ang greatest fear ng mga nanay”. She asked “ano?”. I said “yung tatlong anak mo papasok ng Bench”.
3. When mom saw some of them skinny shorts, she offered to buy me some. She said my cousin looked so good with those. I said “I am fine with cargo shorts, ma. These shorts are just for Korean fanatics”. She insisted, “kahit ako na gumastos, sige na. Anak, pili na”. I said, “Waray ako, ma. Hindi po ako Koreano”.
4. We were at a furniture store checking out some beds so I can prolly buy one before ending the year. Mom said “okay na yung kama mo. Pinaayos ko na ah. Di na yuyupi yun pag magdala ka ng babae sa bahay”. I then said, “gusto ko yung hindi na yumuyupi kahit isang libong babae pa iuwi ko”. Of course, I was joking.
5. We went and watched Avengers, and there was this scene wherein S.H.I.E.L.D. was trying to recruit Tony Stark again. Stark had a line where he said “I’m volatile, self-obsessed and doesn’t work well with others”. She immediately reacted, saying “UY! IKAW YUN AH!”. I said “Shhh! Ma, ano ba maraming tao!”. Okay, that was accurately irritating. 😀
6. At the same scene, Stark went to caress Pepper (his girlfriend). And mom went apeshit saying “UY! UY! (she apparently forgot that she’s with a couple of hundred movie watchers that time) SI GWINTH YUN AH! SI GWINTH YUN!”. I saved us from further shame by whispering “Ma, Gwyneth…now, please, shame me no more…”.
So yeah. That’s a notable incident in every 10 mins. I love my mother anymore.